Back in high school, I had the biggest crush on someone who would later turn out to be one of my best friends.

Well to be honest, I had crushes on a lot of people back then. But anyways, I don't know when it was that he stared dating his then-girlfriend and I really didn't care cause to be honest, I had a crush on her too.

She had some of the thickest, juiciest thighs I had ever seen on a female and all I could think about was how awesome it would be to have a threesome.

Of course, that never happened.

Years and years later, I am still friends with Titusville. His now ex-girlfriend however, turned out to be a much different story.

Even though, I had never approached her about my crush then, or given her any reason really to dislike me, Titusville has been kind enough to point out to me that the woman hates me.

Why? Who knows?

Maybe she always knew about my lesbian crush and didn't care too much for that, or maybe it was the fact that I use to masturbate to the thought of having a threesome with her and her boyfriend that made her hate me so. Not that she would've known anyways.

Who knows... In any case, its an unrequited love...

It's all good though. I've found plenty of other girls who do wanna have sex with me. You win some and you lose some...

Here's a poem to my unrequited love:

Why oh why do you hate me dear?
It's only natural for girls to make out
So have no fear

The crush I had on your boyfriend was only for fun
The whole time I knew him
You were really the one

Why oh why do you hate me so much?
You're legs are just smokin
I only wanted to touch

Lets put this all behind
And start anew
After all, it wasn't him that I wanted
It was really you

Posted by Angry Girlfriend

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While at the grocery store yesterday, I ran into this girl I know. No one really important or even relevant in my life, just one of those people I know. Up until yesterday, I hadn't seen or heard from here since September.

Here's her bio in as little words as possible:

She met and married her husband after dating for 3 very short months. Right off the jump, she was trying to change him. No more going out with his friends or family, no more drinking, no more fun basically.

They have pretty much had a turbulent marriage from the beginning. I mean all marriages are work but when you marry someone you barely know, I can only assume it's even more work. They broke up and got back together more times in their first year of marriage then I really care to count. I couldn't figure out why they even bothered.

Then she wanted a baby. So they tried, and after about 5 miscarriages or so (apparently she was high risk because of her overweight issue), she finally gets pregnant and carries to term.

The child is turning 1-years-old soon, and the 3-year marriage is headed towards divorce. Or so she told me. But then again, it's not the first time she's told me this.

Anyways, at this point, she's moved out with their child and claims to be attending church 3 days a week because she feels the need to "find God".

Which brings me to my topic:

What the hell is it with people who go through a minor bump in the road and now suddenly that **** ain't going so well, they feel the need to "find God"?

I swear I'm not an anti-Christ, (I'm more like the Devils Advocate), but I've never understood why people feel compelled to find God when life doesn't go their way.

Who the hell says that God even wants you to find Him (why do they capitalize "Him"?)?

Maybe God doesn't even like you anymore cause you only come around when you want help. Maybe God is tired of helping your sorry **** feel better about yourself and your crappy **** life. Of course, this is all assuming that there is even a God.

My point is this:

Even if you do find God, it's not gonna change the fact that your life sucks ****. There are still going to be times when you want to self medicate yourself with booze, pills, or whatever the hell else is out there.

The only thing that finding God will change is the amount of money you spend on gas to get to and from church and the disposable income you once had, because after finding God, all you're disposable income will be going into the collection plate at church.

To all you God seekers,

Good luck with that. I'm about to go find God so I can get some wine and get drunk for free!

Angry Girlfriend's Blog

Valentines Day with Angry Girlfriend

Valentines Day has always pretty much sucked **** for me. I have spent years hearing all of my girl friends brag about how their boyfriends spoiled them with gifts for this bullshit Hallmark holiday, while I listened bitterly, hoping that maybe one day I'd meet some guy who would one day do the same for me.

Eventually, I met "The Boyfriend". I thought that being single for Valentines Day sucked, but soon realized that being with "The Boyfriend" for Valentines Day sucks 10 times worse.

Here's a little recap of how I've spent Valentines Day for the last several years with "The Boyfriend":

Valentines Day 2004: He tried to break up with me like 2 weeks before Valentines Day. Somehow, it didn't happen, so then we spent Valentines Day at a restaurant feeling awkward. Oh and he brought me like half a dozen almost dried up dead roses. Really **** and really uncomfortable.

Valentines Day 2005: We went out to a restaurant but he was just a complete ****. This was due partially to the fact that he had knocked me up and needless to say, didn't take the news very well, although this was already 2 months after the fact that he had found out.

Valentines Day 2006: We didn't even bother going out. I made him a card that said "Nothing says I love you like a card that says Go **** Yourself". And then on the inside it said "Go **** Yourself". I had a good laugh over that one.

To read the uncensored version along with pictures of the actual cards, view my mail blog here: Valentines Day with Angry Girlfriend

My blogs just aren't the same with all the censorship they got going on here.