Saturday Night.. Who would have thought.....

 

I must say Saturday Night at Ultra bar was quite the memorable event, as well as the after party in the drunken tank.  We all know that when it starts to get nice outside, trouble tends to start happening.  At least, nice days and nights bring naughty Mo outside. 

 

The night was young.. Got there mad early.. But that's ok.. Cause I got to drink 3 free beers at open bar.. Three beers turned into group shots of Vodka.. to group shots of Patron....to.. I think a buttery nipple shot.. Not sure if I did one or not....to One.. Two.. Three.. Umm.. I believe Four Cranberry-n-Vodka drinks.  (Picture it.. having mad fun drinking the night away) 

 

(Scene Change)

Dancing on the dance floor.. Giving the DJ his own personal shout out... Smacking a sexy bouncer dudes azz...taking pictures with a cool group of people..

Mo needed a cigarette... Mo... was wasted....

One of the groupies was having a b-day... Mo.. The nice person she is.. Shares her sizzle for shizzle; just as nasty.. Ugly.. Bouncer dude (that wasn't getting any action).. Catches Mo in action sharing my sizzle.  Ultra bar party.. Was over.  Sharing sizzle to a minor at the club is means for termination (We were kicked out the club).

 

(Scene Change)

Riding in the cruiser, Mo starts making phone calls.. "The party aint done yet.. shyt." (saying it to myself in my head), Verbally... "I had a great time chix... I'm taking my azz home"

Party in Mo-County... come have drinks.. But you gotta make it here before 2:30am.. Not even looking at the speedometer.. or clock.. Mo was speeding down 50.. then 495.. Finally hitting Georgia Ave.  Good old Georgia Effen Ave... was about three lights from the next party, when a cop (that had nothing better to do at 1:45am) decides to pull my drunken azz over. (Now.. count the mistakes Mo done made)

 

Cop: So.. pop quiz.. What's the speed limit?

Mo: Apparently way bellow what I was going! (Mistake number one)

Cop: How much did we have to drink tonight?

Mo: Umm.. A couple shots of Patron.. Vodka.. and a couple drinks.. But I aint drunk (mistake number two)

Cop: License and registration

Mo: I'm ahead of you (hands the man what he needs)

Cop: were you going?

Mo: Going to a friend's house for a b-day party three light down.... Do you mind if I go to the bathroom since we are going to be here for a while? (Mistake number three) 

Cop: What's your address.. And No

Mo: Tells him my address (Mo moved, didn't get a new license just a change of address card, where that at? In the trunk of the car cause you do need it at the club)

Cop: How long you lived there, and why haven't you gotten you address changed.

Mo: I wasn't going to pay extra money to get new license so got change of address card, it's in the trunk, can I get it? (Mistake number FOUR)

Cop: sure can (opens door)

Mo: Wearing black pumps (not a good idea when drunk) tumbles over and holds onto the car (Mistake number five)

Cop: oh yeah.. Come on over here

Mo: Can I take off my shoes while you give me these tests? (Hasn't even started the test) oh and I can't walk the line until you let me go pee (Mistake number six)

Cop: Walks me into the medical building and lets me do my thang (right after I trip over the curb and fall. mistake number seven)

 

*Long story short*

A good 30-40min later, I was sitting in my car then taken out to sit on the curb with my hands behind my back (and a cigarette in da mouth)  I guess my last name was appealing to the cop that pulled me over.. I guess it would be since he taught my BROTHER while he was becoming one of  Mo-Counties Finest. 

Cop: You wanna call someone?

Mo: I sure would

Cop: Your car is getting impounded and I'm taking you to jail

Mo: So then why do I wanna call someone if you're impounding my car? (Smart attitude, not a good thang mistake number EIGHT (during short version) )

Cop: Let's go, you sure you don't wanna call someone?

Mo: ‘Thinking long and hard' Umm.. Yeah.. My brother.. He's a mo-county cop like yourself

Cop: what's his name, and what's it under on your phone

Mo: Give him name.. Cop starts calling

 

*20 min later*

Cop: Your going to sit here and wait till they impound your car, then I'm taking you down to the station, were your brother will be picking you up. I'm giving you a break just because I taught your brother his DUI and DWI class, and he was a fine student.

Mo: Aint that great! He was always a good suck up in school.. (Mistake number.. umm..NINE (during short version))

 

*as it felt like 2hrs*

We are in the station, couldn't lay down worth shyt.. Was cold and still drunk, thank god I was in there by myself.. I felt like I got the VIP room.  Brother and Father picking me up.  Aint this some shyt... 30min ride home.. Turned into bitch fest.. and blahhhhh...(no better words to describe)

 

**NOTE TO SELF**

NEVER LEAVE THE CLUB WITHOUT GOING TO THE BATHROOM FIRST....KEEP YOUR CHANGE OF ADDRESS CARD WITH REGISTRATION...DON"T UNDERESTIMATE A COPS INTELIGENCE WHEN DRUNK...and DON"T THINK YOUR SUPERMAN AND YOU CAN GET ANYWERE AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

 

So... $222 to get my car out of the impound lot.. Which by the way.. They lost my effen key to...Need to appear in court.. And pay a hefty fine....  Lesson learned.... NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE.... Ok ok.. or DRINK THEN DRIVE.. it's so not worth the price.